Sexual Assault & Rape Information for Gay, Transgender and Bisexual Men YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Rape and sexual assault can happen to anyone, including men, regardless of their race, class, age, size, appearance, or sexual orientation. They are violent crimes used to exert power, humiliate, and control. No matter how you identify-gay, bi, straight, or trans-AVP can help. IT'S NOT ABOUT SEX! Sex requires your consent. Rape and sexual assault are violent crimes and are motivated by anger, hatred, and aggression. Being forced to have unprotected sex or to engage in more sexual activity than you had wanted also constitutes rape or sexual assault. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! No one asks to be raped. Even if you picked someone up or were already engaged in sexual activity, you always have the right to say no. WHAT ARE RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT? AVP defines sexual assault as any sexual touching, either directly or through your clothing, without your consent. This can be done by either a stranger or someone you know. AVP defines rape as a type of sexual assault in which your anus or mouth is penetrated by a penis or any other object. This can be done by either a stranger or someone you know. If you could not say no because you were drunk, high, or unconscious, or have a disability, it is still considered rape or sexual assault. If you had your boundaries violated in a "scene" or had your "safe words" disrespected, it is still considered rape or sexual assault. If you were sex working and someone forced you to do something you did not agree to, it is still considered rape or sexual assault. Laws regarding rape and sexual assault can be very confusing, especially for male survivors. Legal definitions for what happened may not match our definitions. AVP can help you understand these laws. AVP assists all survivors, regardless of how the law defines rape and sexual assault. If you have survived a rape or sexual assault, you are not alone. AVP has experience in helping men who have survived rape or sexual assault. Call AVP's 24-hour bilingual hotline (Spanish/English): (212) 714-1141 BEING GAY OR STRAIGHT DOESN'T MATTER! Sexual assault and rape has nothing to do with your sexuality. Gay, bi, trans, and straight men all get assaulted. Perpetrators aren't necessarily gay either. In fact, the majority of perpetrators identify as straight. Rape and sexual assault can be hate crimes-used to target, humiliate, and hurt men perceived as gay or trans. YOU HAVE SURVIVED! Rape and sexual assault can be life-threatening situations. Whether or not a weapon was used, you probably were very scared. You may have cooperated in order to get out alive. This does not mean you consented. Sometimes you have to cooperate to save your life. Rape and sexual assault are never your fault! SOME COMMON REACTIONS: Rape and sexual assault are traumatic experiences. Following an attack, you may have physical pain, injuries, and strong emotional reactions. Below are some of the reactions you may experience. Changes in your body, health, or appetite-overeating or not eating properly; feeling dirty Depression or anxiety-feeling down, jittery, or on edge; snapping at others Fear-avoiding crowds or leaving home; being frightened it will happen again Anger-feeling violated; having thoughts of revenge Guilt, shame, or embarrassment-feeling like you deserved it; feeling like you're not a man Flashbacks or nightmares-including feeling like you should have done more to fight back Denial-feeling unsure of what happened to you; feeling like you must be over-reacting Changes in your sex life-losing interest in sex or having a lot of dangerous sex; difficulty having sex Isolation and betrayal-feeling alone and separate from your partner, friends, family, and other men Partners, family, and close friends who are aware of what happened to you may also experience some of these changes. Sometimes men who are being raped or sexually assaulted get an erection or ejaculate. If this happened, it does not mean that you wanted it. This involuntary reaction can happen when your body is in a state of extreme stress. WHAT YOU CAN DO: Get medical attention as soon as possible. Injury as well as STDs can occur as a result of a rape or sexual assault. Getting early treatment can help prevent infections. This includes medications to lessen the risk of HIV infection if you fear you may have been exposed. A rape evidence kit can also be performed at the hospital. Even if you chose not to report to the police at that time, you may want to later. The kit is kept as evidence and helps to build a strong case against the attacker. You are entitled to medical care whether or not you chose to have the rape kit done. Preserve your rights. It is a normal reaction to want to feel clean after a rape or sexual assault. However, it is not recommended that you take a bath or shower until you have seen by a doctor or nurse and a rape evidence kit has been performed. This will help save valuable evidence in case you decide to file charges against your attacker. Keeping your clothes and not washing them are also important ways to preserve evidence. Deciding to report a rape or sexual assault can be a difficult decision. It is always your choice to make. Call AVP: We can help in many ways Male survivors often don't identify their experience as rape or sexual assault or try to forget that the assault ever happened and suffer in silence. You are not alone. If you know someone who has been raped or sexually assaulted, pass this information along to them. Encourage them to seek appropriate medical care and to call AVP for counseling and support. If you or anyone you know has been the victim of a crime, including rape and sexual assault, bias crimes, domestic violence, HIV-related violence, pick-up crimes, or police misconduct, call AVP. We can help. Our services include: 24-hour hotline (English and Spanish): (212) 714-1141 Short-term individual counseling Support groups Information and referrals Escort to, and advocacy with, the police Escort to the hospital Assistance filing for Crime Victims Board compensation claims Assistance in obtaining Orders of Protection Court monitoring Legal advice and referrals Advocacy with other service agencies All services are free and confidential. Call AVP's 24-hour bilingual hotline (Spanish/English): (212) 714-1141 Rape Crisis Programs in the New York City Area