What If It Happens to You?
A guide for Lesbian and Gay survivors of violent crimes


Eighty percent of lesbians and gay men have experienced some form of anti-gay or anti-lesbian bias-related violence.

Gay men and lesbians are more than four times more likely to become crime victims than heterosexuals.

Each year, thousands of gay and lesbian New Yorkers become victims of violent crime. Often we are assaulted by total strangers. Sometimes we are attacked by people we may know, including family members or lovers.

Many survivors of violence are reluctant to seek help from social service agencies, the police or the criminal justice system because they anticipate a hostile response to their sexual orientation or a lack of sensitivity to their specific needs. Others may simply be unaware of the services available to help them through the trauma of victimization.

AVP offers the following information for lesbian and gay survivors of violence.

Reactions to Victimization
There are many normal physical or psychological reactions to the trauma of victimization. Emotional reactions such as denial - trying to forget or pretend that the crime never happened - anger, isolation, fear, depression and problems with concentration are common.

Survivors of violent crime may also experience physical problems that seem unrelated to an assault such as head or stomach aches. Insomnia, change in appetite, sexual difficulties and general listlessness are also common physical changes suffered by crime victims.

Ignoring these symptoms may lead to further complications. If you have been victimized, you can call our hotline at 212-714-1141, for assistance.

You can also consider taking any of a number of steps:

  • Get medical attention
    Consult a physician or hospital emergency room, even if you do not believe that you have been seriously injured. Do this as soon after an assault as possible.

  • Document the incident
    Keep accurate records of an incident. Document physical injuries with photographs. retain any written harassment you receive. Keep a log of the time and date of harassing phone calls. if harassing messages have been left on your answering machine, keep the tape.

  • Take care of yourself
    Talking about the incident to supportive friends, lovers or family members can be helpful. Accept your feelings and reactions to the trauma. You may find it helpful to discuss the incident with a counselor at AVP. Call AVP to find out about resources available to you.

  • Reporting Crimes to the Police
    There is no requirement that you report a crime to the police. The decision about filing a report, called a "complaint" or "61" by the police, is yours as the survivor of a crime. Do what is most comfortable for you. Keep in mind that police reports are public record and under most circumstances can be released to the media.

    If you wish to seek financial compensation from the New York State Crime Victims Board for medical expenses or lost earnings, a police report is required.

    If the assault against you was bias-related - based on your race, religion, ethnicity or sexual orientation - the Police Department's Bias Incident Investigating Unit can be asked to handle your case.

    If you decide to report a crime, an AVP advocate may be able to accompany you to the local precinct to provide assistance and support.

  • Safety Information
    You cannot insure that you will never become a crime victim. No crime victim is to blame for the crime committed against them. Nevertheless, these few safety tips may be helpful:

    1. Find out about any local "danger zones" in the neighborhoods you frequent where lesbians and gay men may have been attacked. Avoid these areas especially if you are alone.
    2. If you feel threatened or unsafe, trust your instincts and remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. Run. bang garbage cans. Make noise. Yell "FIRE!" Call 911 for police assistance as soon as possible.
    3. Letting someone you do not know into your home or apartment make you vulnerable to robbery and assault. If you leave a bar with someone you have just met, introduce him or her to a friend or bartender. let other people know that you are leaving together. Exchange names and telephone numbers.
    4. Women should be of men in "mixed" bars who claim to be gay and invite women to their homes. Be wary of taxis that wait outside of women's bars.
    5. Try to leave bars, community centers and other LGTBH+ identified facilities with people you know or trust. Assailants sometimes wait for potential victims outside of places where Lesbians and Gay men meet and gather. (See Safe Dating Tips)
    6. Carry a whistle. Consider taking a self-defense class.

  • What We Can Do As a Community
    Violence against lesbians and gay men affects everyone in our communities. Every attack against one of us is in reality an assault against us all.

    The most effective way to deal with this violence is through community education and involvement.

    Learn about the nature and extent of Anti-LGTBH+ violence and the services available through AVP and other social service agencies.

    Call AVP to document attacks, get help, or request a speaker for your organization or community group.


About AVP

AVP provides counseling, advocacy, information and referrals for survivors of anti-Lesbian and anti-Gay violence, sexual assault, domestic violence, and other types of victimization. All services are free and confidential.